La seule difference entre moi et un fou, c'est que je ne suis pas fou!

Pumpkins Are Not the Only Fruit (SS/SB, porny, really really long)
dedicated to San Francisco, mi amor.
This is a sequel to Sexing the Pumpkin. You should read that first, or the sex might confuse you.
Summary: Sirius gets vomited out of the Veil, bums around a muggle motorbike shop for a while, then is clued in to the possibility that Snape is living in San Francisco, surfing, carefully constructing his Burning Man costume,* and fending off the remnants of the Death Eater movement.
Warnings: It’s long. It's AU (S & S live), but sorta epilogue compliant. Herein you will find good sex, bad sex, masturbation, prosthetic devices, strippers, drag queens, comatose children, Harry Potter, Harry Potter's (not comatose) children, alcohol, drugs, tandoori chicken, etc. There is mention of, but nothing terribly explicit, Snape/other people. Also, I wrote this in a happy time before Prop 8 passed.

( *Just kidding about Burning Man. Um. Maybe. You'll have to read and find out. )

hp_wankfest is so good! I have not had the space in my life to fully appreciate its GLORIOUSNESS until yesterday. But goodness, I have enjoyed the wanks I have witnessed! There are so so many that I want to shout from the rooftops, but I'll leave it at this one, for a variety of reasons:

--it has pumpkin!sex, real pumpkin!sex, not merely the cowardly allusions to same in the tranny!snape fic...and pumpkins are slapped!!
--there are all of 9 folks on my friend-of list here, so my pimping power is limited...
--it was multiple Weasleys, yet not in incestuous scenarios...
--it has pumpkin!sex!

And I also found, in my perusal yesterday, that my story is posted. good grief. glad it's off my desk. Considering it's the second HP story I've written since my early foray circa 1999, I stand no chance of being recognized.

nehalenia and r_grayjoy have done such a good job with this. I have never participated in or administrated a fest before, but have observed some of the drama through other people who have, and this one has been so fun and HUGE and smooth! Like butter!

Just in case anyone who has so kindly commented on my little (actually...big...) beastie meanders over here, there is no way I will be able to respond to those lovely comments before 16th june or so.

Back into the 70 hour work weeks I seem to thrive on!

xorbr

femmenerd, I give you your Christmas present, stealth!Snape on a plate, or maybe in a jar:



Sexing the Pumpkin: a love story (SS/SB, porny, long)
I've written something very….queer. Stealth!Snape* is the love child of femmenerd and myself. I really wanted Snape to get with a girl here. But he doesn't, he ends up with the next best thing, Sirius Black. I'm completely in love with stealth!Snape and would happily write him in like a million other scenarios, but this is the one that happened. This could be considered slash or het or tranny, but it's not easily categorized. Let's see…within you will find voyeurism, various explicit sexual encounters, character death that you already knew was coming & related angst, DH spoilers (sort of), drugs, alcohol, some very disgusting though only occasionally explicit moments involving bodily fluids of all varieties…and more! I guess this is somewhere within OoTP, though I doubt I conform to anything remotely logical re timelines, etc. Sirius found his dating quiz on Cosmopolitan.com. Happy Christmas, darling femmenerd!
Disclaimer: Of course this didn't happen. Apologies all around…but…you know, I want to apologize to Jeannette Winterson waaaay more than I want to apologize to JKR & friends.

*If you don't know what stealth!Snape means, you'll find out well before anything naughty happens (at about 1500 words, to be precise). So feel free to exit the story at that point. I wouldn't want you reading something you don't want to read.

( a very warm welcome to the five people who read this story )

Last night I dreamt I was witnessing some sort of fat camp pep rally, and the women were asked what they felt like they weren't doing enough of. And one girl says "fighting class oppression!"

voila.